I am setting here and going over and over in my mind all the things I have to be thankful for. I am thankful for a lot of things but I am sad at the same time. Sad because I have no one to share my life with. I have been talking and listening to my friends on here and my friends at the house and I will have to say the one thing I am really thankful for right now is the fact that I don't have to worry about money. I have a good job and I am an extremely hard worker and make good money. Now that I have said that I will say this, IT MEANS VERY LITTLE IF I DONT HAVE SOMEONE TO SHARE IT WITH!!!! I have a bunch of friends and all they do is complain about how broke they are. OH I am so broke. I will tell them they are extremely lucky, They have a family to go home too. When they decide they are finished drinking at the local pub anyways!!! They will complain more about how I don't want this problem I am lucky to be single!!!! THAT IS A SLAP IN THE FACE TO ME!!!! I would trade every penny I have and all my worldly possesions for the love of a good woman. For one thing they don't manage what money they have and prioritize what they spend their money on. I am not going to make the men mad here and say a man should give up everything that makes him happy. But in my mind a man should be a man and want to do his duties and well for the lady in his life. I get so much pleasure from just seeing the look in my ladies eyes when I do something simple like by her some flowers!!! I am going to put my head on the chopping block here for a minute and share an experiance I had. One of the mistakes I made in my last relationship was I was too eager to do these things for the lady in my life. She has a mild case of Cerebral Palsey and gets tired easly. I ask her to take it easy at work and she says her work doesnt make her tired. She doesnt even realize work makes everyone tired. We were to be married this August and I told her... Sweety why don't you just quit work when we get married. I make more than enough to support us both and well. She has been raised her whole life to be independant and she took offense to this and said I was trying to control her. I told her if you like working keep working. I will suport whatever you want to do. If working makes you happy then stay at it. I then told her I could see how tired she was at the end of the day and I did not like to see this that I could do this for the two of us. In my mind I was giving her the freeedom to chose. I told her .. Let me do the work. Do what ever you want. Run with your friends. Stay in bed till noon if that pleases you. You wont have to ask me for money. She wouldn't do this so I had her added to my account so she wouldnt have to ask. She could just get what ever she wanted and not even ask. I told her to do what makes her happy. Making her happy pleased me greatly and she told me she was happy. Now this is the biggest reason for her leaving me. She says I was trying to control her. I dont understand how you can get control out of what I was offering her. In my mind it was giving her the freedom to come and go as she pleased if she wanted to or to sleep till her heart was content!!! I have always had the theory and thoughts in my mind that a lady should not have to work. NOT THAT SHE IS NOT JUST AS CAPABLE AS A MAN TO DO THIS. I want to make that clear. Women are just as good at working as men if not better. I am not a shovinist or anything like that. I just didnt like watcing her labor. It made me sad to see her so tired. I love her and wanted to give her everything. Thats why when I see my friends who have all this and all they do is complain it hurts me deep inside. They just dont realize how lucky they truly are!!!!! I would go to sleep eating nothing but bologna sandwiches and beanie weenies and be happy as long as I could lay my head down next to my ladies and hear her tell me she loved me and was happy with all I have done for her. Thats all I have dreamed about my entire adult life was having someone to love,someone to hold and to take care of and the lady I just had in my life said she was going to give this to me. The night before she left me she stood in her front yard and kissed me goodnight telling me she loved me and promissed me she would never leave me, Only to call me on the phone the next day saying it wasn't going to work!!! I look around me at couples as they go by and most of the time the man is angry and screaming at the top of his lungs about money or something else that just doesn't make since at all. How can a man have all this and still be unhappy. That is why in my blog (The right place at the right time ) I had to turn and walk away. I did so because I didn't want her to see the tears in my eyes and have to explain to her why.. She had a man setting next to her and that little angel in the back seat and he could care less about the tears of the mother and daughter and the fear in the little one. It took everything I had to not jerk him up by the coller and set him straight on what had just happened and what he needed to do.. This would have been pointless and caused more grief for that mother and child so I just swallowed my anger at him and helped them. I did not do this for him. I did it for that mother and child. I will stop ranting and venting now before I anger someone with my beliefs. I just believe a man should be a man. I sometimes wonder if I am a man at all the way I cried when my lady left me.. Men are not sussposed to do this!! Sincerely: Lost & Confused 
Tags: Life
