It's in this wake that I find myself
Losing the will to resume this hell
When every breath is a dying wish
It's harder to follow the point of this
This broken place that I call my home
Is deep in the sorrow that I have sewn
And i can't erase what is in my heart
I wanted to finish before it starts
My own solution in discretion again
Our false solution is devoured in dread
Our own solution giving rein to it's head?
and open my face to the darkened sky
I've been fading away
I've been waiting for a call to reach my veins
Ready or not
No attention to waist
Every sorrow of the soul will reap my name
When I cease to exist
Now I've come to a final sleep
I pray that forgiveness is mine to keep
I know it's hard to forgive this man
Driving the failure into your hands
My son nicholas was born 11/29/07 and passed away this last 12/22/07 and to all the rest of you truckers out there he would of been one of the best...
NICHOLAS A. LONG
Monday, December 24, 2007 - Bangor Daily News
SHERMAN - Nicholas A. Long, 23 days, went to heaven Dec. 22, 2007, in Portland. He was born Nov. 29, 2007, in Bangor, the son of Josh Grant and Dawn Long. In addition to his parents, he is survived by a half brother, Austin Grant of Crystal; grandparents, Ed and Pam Long of Sherman; maternal great-grandparents, Gilford and Donna Sirois of Island Falls; paternal great-grandparents, Gary and Sheila Long; great-great-grandparents, Ida Mc-Nally of Island Falls and Velma Long of Patten; one uncle, Mike and his wife, Jamie Long; one aunt, Heather Long, all of Sherman; one special great-aunt and great-uncle, Jeff and Jennifer Long; as well as other great-aunts and great-uncles. Funeral services will be held 1 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 29, at Bowers Funeral Home, Island Falls, with the Rev. Leon Rob-inson. Spring interment will be at Golden Ridge Cemetery.
Well i'm back again,, i just got back out of jail on bail,i go to court around christmas. If you don't know what happened, my son Nicholas died 12/22/07 and may 10th i went to bury him in crystal,maine. i was arrested for having a gun in my car. I was planning on going to be with my son that day,but i got busted for having a loaded handgun in my car being a felon.I have 2 other sons but family and the state didn't feel a single trucker dad should raise kids alone and i guess you can figure the rest out.....i got out a oct 2 and hope to try to stay out of trouble till court if i can.
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What is there to say about me? I am a very interesting person, and very misunderstood. I try very hard to always do the right thing and treat everyone with the respect that they deserve. Trust is very hard to come by in me...If I have given you trust and you hurt me or constantly lie to me...I probably won't trust you again. I really try not to hold grudges, because they are just unhealthy. There is no point in staying angry or sad all the time, life is too short. When I love, I love completely and when I am hurt I tend to be defensive and a bit harsh. I can also be very recluse with my feelings or I can be very blunt. More than likely if it has to do with matters of the heart I am very very recluse. I never come out and say exacty the way I feel for fear of getting my heart hurt or hurting someone that I care for. When I say something I mean it also. Like when I tell someone that I love them... I love them forever. I still love every person that I have ever told that. But on the flip side I have absoutely no problem confronting another person. If you make my angry I will confront you about it. If I think that you have a problem I will confront you about it. I always stick up for my friends aswell. I wont stand to see someone I care for getting hurt by anyone. I have a very very bad temper but I keep control on it most of the time. The only time I may lose my temper is when someone disrespects me or someone I care for or someone that cant stick up for themself. I have alot of pride and won't stand for it. I have been through a lot in my life, not much fazes me anymore. I have been hurt so much that it dosen't hurt anymore. Most people are afraid to die. Its gonna happen someday, why be afraid? There are some things I am afraid of, but death is definately not one of them. I am also a very strong person. I know that I will overcome any obstacle that comes my way, but I haven't always been this way. I am afraid of being hurt...not physically, I can take physical pain all day long, and I like it a little bit...I can't take emotional pain....I can't stand it...Getting my heart broken after I start to finally trust someone is the worst feeling in the world....its like being stabbed in the back..you never know when someones lieing or telling the truth....I have never hurt anyone that I have been with...I am the one getting hurt always have been...I care too much for the other person and will stay unhappy just to make them happy... I am not sure whether that is a good or bad thing... I always help others before I help myself. I just want to be a good person. Not in anyone elses eyes but my own. I love helping people it makes me happy. I love to make people feel good. I have always been that way... and if someone needs help I am the first one people talk to....People can trust me...I am a hopeless romantic and love my family and friends more than anyone or anything. I am a pretty laid back person most of the time and I have a lot of pride. My pride is my everything.
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this is were things get really hard but here it goes, i will say i really messed up in my life. there was this one woman that was really special but i blew it. i listened to what everyone else said. a few of her family members told me on the very day i was going to ask her to marry me that she was cheating on me. i fucked up really bad, i went and got my things from her and left her standing at the bangor mall. I did go back for her a few hours later after i got my head togeather, but it was to late she was gone.
the thing is i loved steph so much, and i blew it. she could of been the one. my friends i cant give up on it, i messed up so bad.
I just saw her again 11/14/08 all because she was on her way to the hospital in an ambulance, when i was called and told i beat the thing there. hell i was trying to open the doors before the thing was even backed into place. I had to find out that she really kinda hates me, i have no one to blame but myself. i'll be the first one to say i might of blown my one dream come true, and steph i am sorry i hurt you so much.
hi i have never talked to you before, but we have a lot in commoni too lost my son in 1987,a mosquito bite set uo infection around his brain,he was in a coma for almost 2 years ,1 week befor he passed his fever reached 108 ,it was april but there was 2 feet of snow on ,i filled garbbage bags with snow an covered him with it trying to help get it down ,befor the ambulance got there ,in ky that much snow closes everything ,,he lived 7 daqys till he was gone ,we kept him on life support at home ,i too had some time behind bars though not a felon ,i understand where your comeing from ,,if you ever need a friend to talk with let me know ,,your friend to be captian jack
Hi Kathy here, thank you for the pictures you have placed on the site that is beautiful, I am so sorry for your loss.
It is lovely to have you post such a lovely memory of Nicholas on my site you don't know what that means to me.
i can't talk to much today I am organizing a big conovy to rememer the drivers no longer with us, I personally will remember Nicholas on that day the 23rd of February when we all say a few special words for the drivers no longer with us. iIwill in my heart remember this little fellow with lots of love. and his proud dad.
Will get back to you after the convoy have so much to do before that date sorry.
as nicholas is watching over you to blessyou if there i anything we can do let us know take care ..sincerelyAngel 
